Mibrofyalgia

Yesterday I went to the pain clinic.  I was referred to get acupunture which is good because it has helped in the past.  I was also advised that Lyrica might help but I’m not particularly keen to go on any more drugs, I’m already on three and they don’t really know how they all interact let alone four.  Plus I’ve had terrible weight gain from the ones I’m on and don’t want to add to it.  The doctor didn’t really give me much of an idea as to what else they’re going to try if anything, and it was a bit confusing.  It’s also becoming clear that not very much is known about Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.  So I suppose I shouldn’t expect too much in the way of help.

I’ve been feeling more positive the last few days, I’ve been in less pain and able to get out and about a bit more.  I’m mostly over the cold now which lasted two weeks and made me feel pretty rotten.  I’ve been doing some painting and have visited some friends which was nice.

The rolercoaster of mood swings has finished but left me in a low.  Having the cold hasn’t helped because I can’t really go out and do things, which usually helps me feel better.  It’s very cold outside and I don’t want this cold to get any worse.  The depression has kicked in good and proper.  I don’t enjoy things, that is when I can motivate myself to do anything, I can’t think of stuff to fill my time, when I do think of something I try it and either get frustrated or hate doing it-things I would have previously enjoyed.  I can’t concentrate and keep waking up too early in the morning.  I feel persistently sad or empty.  I need to try and nip this in the bud, so I’m going to harrang my doctor to see if I can see a psychologist, I’ve been on the waiting list for about a year and have heard nothing.  To be honest I’m not very impressed with the NHS, I’ve got schizo-affective disorder, a serious mental illness and I have to wait this long for help.  If I had the money I would pay to see someone privately but I’m on benefits so there’s no chance of that.

I’ve had the cold for a good few days now, it’s making the fibromyalgia much worse.  I’m aching more than usual and my temperature is all over the shop.  When I used to get the cold before I had fibro, it was an incovenience but now it floors me.

I’m working on trying to stop pushing myself too much when I’m feeling good, because if I do I then crash and my Fibromyalgia symptoms flare up and then my mood dips too.  I’m learning (slowly) that pacing is definitely the way forward.  The problem I have is that when I start to feel better I want to get on with all the stuff I haven’t been able to do and I get over-exited, do too much and end up sore and exhausted.  I need to realise that when I’m feeling good/better I need to save some of that energy and then I can more consistently do the things I would like to do.