Mibrofyalgia

I have just recovered from a very severe Bi-polar high which was very unpleasant and caused a lot of stress.  I am stable again now and have been slowly getting back into painting again so here is my most recent creation.

I think it’s very important for people to realise what a painful condition FIBROMYALGIA is, it’s not just pain mind you, being ignored and having your symptoms (which include a great many “inconvenient” things) belittled and judged is a hard pill to swallow.  Just because we don’t have huge purple spots all over our faces, DOESN’T mean we are not suffering.  I also find unsolicited “advice” as to how to treat MY body and it’s ailments rather dull.

The number of times I’ve been accused of being “lazy” or “lucky to have the excuse not to do the housework today” even though I’m a reasonable sportswoman, artist and musician.   I hasten to add I ASPIRE to the odd dose of LAZINESS from time to time…..I don’t want cash/dollars/quids, just a little understanding and compassion.  I hope I can offer the same to other’s, everyone’s situations are different and that’s one of the things that makes life SPECIAL, everybody is unique and that’s fabulous.

The soothing sounds of your own music, at home are wonderful.  A little peace and quiet during the day, is very pleasant.  I have had a series of “interesting times” recently.  I hope to look forward, onwards and upwards, etc!  I have started painting again and find it an incredibly soothing process, finally it has got to the point where I can just enjoy it.  Suddenly things seem brighter and more positive, long may it last……

Well, after more trips to A&E than I can count, 2 hospital admissions and having out-patient appointments most days for the winter, I’m not feeling too great….I’m recuperating at home and trying to keep my chin up.  It’s so lovely to hear the birds singing and everything coming to life again.  It is the hardest winter I have experienced for a very long time.

The cold weather is here once again and with it pain and stiffness.  On the brighter side, the days are lengthening and the birds are singing.  Spring is not far away now which is good news.

I’ve been enjoying the beautiful sunrises over the last few days (from the warmth of our kitchen!).  The range of blues and pinks brings a warm glow to the heart.

February is a lovely time of year, the depths of winter are past and the milder weather is on it’s way.  This winter has brought snow, sleet, gales, slush and ice.  It’s been a harsh winter but hopefully things will calm down a little.

Here is a photo of what I’ve been working on lately (I started it quite a long time ago, then took a long break and now I’m going to finish it-hopefully!)

I’m trying to do artwork that is just for myself at the moment.  I’m trying to loosen up and enjoy myself again.  As soon as there is pressure, for instance doing a piece for someone else, I freeze and panic.  This freezing usually results in no work done at all, hence doing stuff just for myself for a while until I’ve built up my confidence a bit.

After a lengthy break from painting and drawing I’m feeling rejeuvenated and refreshed.  I’m feeling inspired again and have already done quite a lot of art.  I’m varying what I’m doing, a little work on an almost finished piece and also what I call “play” art, which is my time to just mess about and not worry too much about the end result, not ad easy as I thought it would be!  I’ve restarted my sketchbook which I’m going to try and do something in each day.  I’ll post up some photo’s soon!

I am half-way through a book called “An Illustrated Life” by Danny Gregory and am enjoying it very much.  The only problem is that I wish it were longer because it’s so good!  It’s a collection of sketchbooks of various artists, illustrators and designers and each one has written about their experience of sketchbooking.  It’s so interesting to read how different people approach their sketchbooks and the creative process.  Quite a lot of them also tell you about what materials they prefer to use, their personal rules for sketchbooking (or lack of rules in some cases).  It is a very inspiring book and has given me the motivation to start sketchbooking again which is something I have done on and off for years.  I highly recommend this book!

I’m still in a fibromyalgia flare at the moment and some days can’t function at all.  Some days I feel improved and am desperate to get out and about only to feel very unwell again the next day.  Fluctuation is the theme here.  I’m hoping this flare will pass soon.